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ruminations of a fool

may the bullshit begin.

check the parents' blood-alcohol level

5.04.2005

in an attempt to keep us high schoolers from drinking on prom night, hanover is offering an afterparty at school that lasts until 3 in the mornin (sorry r kelly, not 6).

most teens who are trying to get tipsy that night will end up just that: completely wasted. however, in one case that was covered by 60 minutes, parents in Rhode Island took matters into their own hands.

their son came home from school one day asking if he could have an after-prom party. the parents said yes, but asked if alcohol was going to be "present." in all honesty, he told them that would be correct, so they immediately flipped out and gave him a big negatory on the party.

a few days later, he asked his parents if he can spend the night at a friend's beach house. knowing that alcohol would surely be "present" there, the parents said no but offered a compromise: he could have a party, but alcohol would not be provided and all kids would have to spend the night.

it is illegal to supply alcohol to a minor, so the parents avoided that issue. the day of prom, the kid and his friend buy a keg of beer from a neighbor with their parents' consent.

by the time the party started, the dad had moved his armchair to the front door and was collecting car keys as teens entered the house. he positioned his armchair to create a blockade of the exit for any potential escapees during the night.

all in all, the party was a success in the fact that no teens were at risk of drunk driving. however, the parents were not only condoning the consumption of alcohol by their son, but also by the children of many other oblivious parents.

...which is why they are currently being sued. one of the other parents is pressing charges including the oh-so-broad "contributing to the deliquancy of a minor" infraction against the couple.

if the supreme court steps in and creates a precedent for this type of action, its effects could be huge. if they should approve of the parents' conduct, their message is that controlled drinking by minors is a-okay, thus rendering the legal drinking age of 21 meaningless.

social insecurity

5.03.2005

when Franklin Delano Roosevelt introduced social security as a part of his new deal legislation during the great depression, it was designed to be a source of comfort and, you guessed it, security for Americans in their retirement by providing a steady flow of cash benefits for citizens after their 65th birthday.

back in the '30s, there was a 3:1 ratio of three people working to supply the social security funds to the one retired person reaping the benefits of his old age.

times change.

due mainly to longer life expectancy, that ratio will soon reverse so that just one member of the working class will be present for every three retirees.

president bush has taken it upon himself, like he should, to plan for the future and amend social security now before it starts paying out more money than it takes in (wait, it already does this).

one easy cop-out for the president would be to cut benefits, but seriously, is that a solution?

instead, he has outlined his intentions of allowing Americans to invest 1/3 of their social security benefits into the stock market and governement bonds.

one study conducted by a yale economist showed that 80% of those who would invest that money in the stock market would earn money.

how about the other 20%? is bush going to play the numbers and just forget this good-sized minority of losers? will the stock market earnings even be significant enough for the winners to cover the spread?

here are the obvious solutions that bush has somehow overlooked:

1) increase the retirement age to 70 or 75. with that longer life expectancy, people should be expected to work later into life.

2) increase the maximum limit of a person's salary that can be taxed for social security. right now, any earnings above $90,000 are not subject to social security's 6.2% rate. the wealthy can bear to give up the same percentage of their paychecks as the poverty stricken.

us teenagers have to be aware of these problems now because we are the generation that will be most greatly affected by changes happening now under the bush "administration." don't let bush privatize social security and jeopardize the dependability of this service -- vote nader '08.

"it looks good on college applications"

5.02.2005

today mills, drew, and i gave our speeches for senior class council. we could care less if this goes on our permanent records of accomplishments; we just want to keep flamestaffs (who will remain anonymous) out of office.

most of the candidates don't even have a passion for what they're running for and are really just looking for more achievements to add to their so-called illustrious college applications.

it is hard to understand why so many teenagers will submit themselves to worthless hardships for absolutely no reason in order to add these idiotic tasks to their extensive resumes a.k.a. college applications.

beta club, ruriteens, key club, national honor society, and countless others -- besides the formidable chess club -- all merely serve the purpose of bolstering a student's background for college admissions. it is a guarantee that if extracurricular activites were not looked at by colleges, students would do everything possible to avoid these ridiculously pointless clubs.

however, there are a good number of high schoolers here and across the nation that will join as many clubs as possible because of the now clichéd phrase of "it looks good on college applications."

the simple fact is that colleges don't even like seeing students who drive themselves to the brink of insanity in their foolish attempt at being the perfect, well-rounded, straight A student. every admissions officer will tell you that they look for students who have pinpointed their interests and are willing to go after them.

plus, as john hoard once said, "you only live once." so why the hell would someone want to spend their precious time in beta club instead of doing something enjoyable like the great sport of cowtipping?

whats up with this emo crap?

5.01.2005

invading our school and workplace at an alarming rate, emo people are going to bring this world down. they are easily distinguished by the emo dress code of girl-like tight jeans, converse chucks from the 80's, and black square rimmed glasses - all in the indiana jones-like quest for OPTIMUM EMO-TIONALNESS! indeed, that's what emo stands for and it's what followers of this satanic lifestyle live to be.

when anything semi-tragic occurs -- this can be as trivial as micky d's putting mayo on a requested-to-be-plain big mac -- emo's across the world/MySpace will band together to mourn over the tragedy. this is because emo's take everything that happens to them and multiply the magnitude of these crises by a number greater than 10.

whether it's getting dumped by a girlfriend or simply getting wronged by McDonald's, emo people have the uncanny ability to turn simple, everyday complications into life-altering catastrophes. they will come to the conclusion that their suburban lives are impossibly tough and believe that no one understands them.

looking for help in all the wrong places, the now-devastated emo turns to MySpace for guidance. MySpace will only confirm the emo's belief that "life is a bitch and then you die" because every1 on there (with the exception of myself, drew sullivan, and chris miller) is also of the emo ethnicity.

while mr. emo browses the countless number of emo profiles on MySpace that feature depressing pictures of the users -- who refuse to smile because life's a bitch -- screamo "music" plays from his stereo. screamo is characterized by, you guessed it, screaming and feel-sorry-for-yourself messages that comfort a disgruntled emo.

at this point, li'l emo has resorted to crying and goes to bed in hopes that tomorrow will be tragedy-free. when he awakens the next day in a pool of his own tears, the cycle starts all over again when he realizes that his sister just ate the last bowl of Fruit Loops...